I initially started this blog as a way to hold myself accountable to my WHY and to stay focused on my goals. I also wanted to use this blog selfishly as a way to get myself out of a terrible emotional slump and a very dark depression. I felt that by helping others I will be also helping myself and to also build a community where we can all be there for one another.
The year 2020 was the most prosperous, financially freeing year of my life! For that whole year, I finally was able to get a feel for what it was like to be financially stable. I was able to save, work on my credit, take care of my family, and pay bills on time! That was super exciting for someone who has lived below the poverty line for so many years! I even had money in 3 different types of investment portfolios for me and my daughter. Then 2020's evil step-sister, 2021 showed up and all hell broke loose. I was stripped of everything! I had to sell a ton of things to try to stay afloat until eventually I no longer could afford to have a place for my daughter and I to live in.
During the darkest times of 2021, my morning runs/jogs and exercises became my peace of mind and sanity. Because I was going through so much, running and working also kept me from going crazy! Since I was working out so often, I sustained two terrible knee injuries that prevented me from running for at least 3 months. I was forced to stop running from my doctor, and with all this downtime I had to face all the turmoil that was happening in my life head-on. Because I wasn't able to have my morning runs with God, I began to sit my grief and get even more depressed and stressed, which brought on another problem, FOOD! One thing about me, I love food! And not just any food; I really love baked goods like cookies, cake, muffins as well as Mexican and Italian food, pizza, and french fries! Everything bad for you, I love! Food is what I would consider my "Mr. Feel Good" drug! Unfortunately, Mr. only makes you feel good for a moment, and then it is back to reality, 15 lbs heavier and back to depression. And the cycle begins all over again.
Up until now, it has been about 5 months since I have been running. So much has happened during that time and the devil keeps trying to tempt me to go back to my old self. However, what has sustained me and kept me going was my WHY! My WHY has been so strong that I can't allow myself to lose focus and return to the old me. When I weighed myself the other day and I saw that I was 180 lbs, about 20 lbs heavier than I was at my fitness peak! My muscle definition, strength, health, and endurance were all deteriorating and slowly I felt like the devil was continuing to take more from me, just like everything else in my life. I quickly came to myself and realized that although I know that I can't control the circumstances that have happened to me, I can control what is happening to my body and my health. As difficult as it has been to get back on track, I know that I can't let the devil win. He has already taken so much from me and I believe that he knows that I am capable of helping so many people when operating in my best self. So for that, I refuse to go back to the person I was and become what I used to be!
This journey has taken me for 4-years to get to a point of courage, confidence, and momentum and to also become someone who I thought only existed as my mental alter ego. The journey hasn't always been easy developing better habits for my life and my health. I worked too hard to not fight for change, fight for better, and to fight for my life! This is what makes the reason behind WHY stronger than ever before.
Whatever you want to do in life or whoever you desire to be, don’t let fear, discouragement, or setbacks keep you from accomplishing your goals. Remember, nothing in this world worth having comes easy and nothing easy is worth fighting for. The world is waiting on you and your life is waiting on you to live it in abundance.
Has life ever turned your world upside and you found it hard to stay the course? Have you thought of giving up and felt it wasn't worth it? What did you do? How did you get back on and stay the course?
I would love to hear your stories in the comments!
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