Hello Fear

 One of my favorite songs by the gospel singer/songwriter Kirk Franklin is a song called "Hello Fear." In it, Franklin goes through a monolog confronting Fear that allows him to bring closure to everything Fear has robbed him of in his life. At the end of the song, he welcomes and embraces Faith by choosing to move towards all the new exciting possibilities and opportunities Faith has for him. This song is profound because it humanizes fear making it a real thing that has such bad intentions for our lives. Personally, fear has controlled so many aspects of my life by manipulating me emotionally and mentally, keeping me captive where it feels that I am safe. I have fought fear for years and still fight it today. Fear was present before I decided to exercise and change my way of life, and it attacked me for many years before I decided to start this blog and expose myself to the world. Fear told me that I should wait to be in perfect shape before I started this blog and that I needed to have it all together before anyone would listen to me. When I felt that I was ready and had gotten the courage to start this blog, fear told me that I wasn’t good enough and that no one would listen to what I had to say. Although it took a while to build up my faith and courage, I am glad that I didn’t listen to fear. I realized that listening to fear all these years was keeping me from being free. All of my doubts, worries, and concerns were holding me hostage, to a point where I would never see results if I didn’t at least take the risk.   

I have heard it said that “Procrastination is the enemy of progress,” however I believe fear is. If we allow it, fear will conveniently provide us with excuses that will cause us to procrastinate. Our fears will play every worst-case scenario and even vividly act it out in our minds for us until we find ourselves putting ourselves on hold another day. Ever since I made the decision to move against my fears and live at my best fear has been clawing at my heels trying to pull me back to its "safe place."

I believe that the devil uses fear as a tactic to keep us from the things that we are meant to do and who we are supposed to be. I have come to the conclusion that, if I am afraid of it, then it must be the thing that I am supposed to do to get me to where I need to be, FREEDOM. For example, I was afraid to talk to people I didn't know for a long time; it was uncomfortable for me so I just wouldn't do it. For me to be free from this fear meant that I had to intentionally put myself in situations where I had to speak to people that I don’t know. So I would intentionally go to networking events or join ministries and groups forcing myself to face my fear. If you have a fear of public speaking, to move past that fear you can find opportunities where you can use your voice and others can hear your views. It could be through a Toastmasters group or hosting a gathering or small group study where you can allow your voice to be heard. Joyce Meyers, a Christian author and minister, has an amazing book called Do It Afraid where she discusses how courage is not the absence of fear, it is moving forward in the presence of fear. Although fear will challenge you, do it anyway! Small steps make a huge difference in the end. 

I have also always struggled with social anxiety, and being an introvert doesn’t help either. As a child, I was quiet, a natural observer with a soft voice, and was told that I mumbled and needed to speak up to be heard. Because of fear, instead of speaking up, I did the opposite and I retreated back into myself and figured that no one needed to hear what I had to say. As I have gotten older, I realized that all of my fears have kept me from incredible experiences and from meeting and building relationships with people that could’ve unlocked amazing opportunities for me. So instead of retreating back into my shell where I am comfortable, I intentionally put myself in uncomfortable situations where I am around interesting people who are where I want to be and know more than I do. This has given me the courage to now speak up and allow my voice to be heard! It was very difficult at first and the first few situations that I forced myself in weren’t the best but taking those steps of faith has made me so much better than I was before and it has been so exciting to meet this new person that I was always meant to be. Robert Greene, the author of the renowned 48 Laws of Power, beautifully states, “Your fears are a kind of prison that confines you within a limited range of action. The less you fear, the more power you will have and the more fully you will live." Amen Minister Greene 👏  

Throughout all of my experiences, setbacks, and failures in life, I have learned that Fear and Faith can't coexist. They are both constantly moving forces that can't exist unitedly on the same plane of motion. If joined together, they will be like two people in a car trying to go two different places at the same time; both struggling to go nowhere. However, separately, they are free to take you in one of two directions; forward or backward. It is up to you to choose which way you want to go, Safety vs. Success.

Frank Herbert Dune (Dune #1)

Sometimes I wonder where I would be and who I would have become if I never decided to start running. Could fear have robbed me of this moment with all of you? What are some fears that are holding you back? What are some things that you will do to start to overcome your fears? Let’s take this time to ultimately say "Farewell, goodbye, so long" to fear!

Life is Waiting on You

At my best, when I would run outdoors I would try to run at least 2 - 3 miles on a relaxed day and 5 - 6 miles or more when I felt like conquering the world! Either way, I would always try to beat my time or do better than I did the days before. Understand that I am not a workout robot or a gym rat; I have tons of days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed and running is the farthest thing from my mind. However, it is in those times, the only thing that gets me motivated is knowing that the faster I get started the sooner it is over and I am back home. Hopefully, back in bed! Bad way to look at working out, I know but I am human.

After about a week of being lazy and unmotivated to run, one morning God said to me, "Get up and go for a jog. I want to talk to you." To give you a bit of context; it was a cold rainy morning and my bed was giving me the biggest bestest cuddle hug that day and the sheets were just right! It was the perfect day to stay put and say, "Nah God, tomorrow would work better for the both of us." After a little mental back and forth, I eventually got up and thought “If I could build up enough endurance to nail this run, I could be back in bed in no time! Yay!” Forgive me for this sad  motivation, again I am human.

Hesitantly, I got dressed, headed out the door, and started my run. During this particular run, I heard God clearly say to me, “Life is waiting on you.” So clear, so short and so simple but profound. Typically, I would get huge revelations or mind-blowing epiphanies when God talks to me on my jogs but today, He was a man of few words. A few short but powerful words that made me come to a halt in the middle of my jog and re-evaluate a few things.

I can be sort of a procrastinator who oftentimes prioritizes herself last. I have tons of great ideas for businesses that I have hoarded and allowed to only reside in my mind. Out of the necessity of income, I worked jobs where I allowed myself to build other people's businesses and dreams, yet have neglected my own. By doing this, not only have I neglected my own dreams and goals by putting myself last, I am telling myself that I am not a priority and what I have inside me is not important enough to exist in this world. I am ultimately saying to myself that I don't value my time, my dreams or myself and that I am willing to prostitute it to the highest seller in exchange for a check that holds me hostage to a subpar way of life. A life that repeats this cycle of rinse, wash, dry and repeat, and I'm back where I started.

Even though I have these desires inside of me to start and create opportunities for others, life doesn't always make it easy for me to make what matters the most to me happen. The bible says in James 2:14-17 CEB, "My brother and sister, what good is it if people say they have faith but do nothing to show it? Claiming to have faith can't save anyone, can it? Imagine a brother or sister who is naked and never has enough food to eat. What if one of you said, 'Go in peace! Stay warm! Have a nice meal?' What good is it if you don't actually give them what their body needs? In the same way, faith is dead when it doesn't result in faithful activity." Another translation puts it as, "Faith without works is dead,” which means that I can have all the faith, ideas, and good intentions in the world but at the end of the day if I do nothing to make it happen, my intentions mean nothing. My ideas have no value or merit and the intentions of my thoughts do nothing to help anyone. At the end of the day, God was waiting on me to make what He'd put inside me a priority.

Has God given you dreams, witty ideas, and inventions? Things that may appear way beyond your qualifications and your budget? Has he pulled your heartstrings in a certain direction with ministry or to start an organization and, just like me, you procrastinate and put it on hold while you wait for life circumstances to become more favorable? The things that we are praying for will not come to pass if we don't do our part by making moves to make them happen. Keeping your goals and dreams tucked away on the inside of you is like allowing your unborn child to die because you chose not to give birth.

Maybe you are praying for something as simple as endurance while you train to lose weight or for a marathon or any life hurdle that is keeping you from being your best. Understand that everything you are praying for and believing for is out there waiting for you. The team you are hoping to build, the people that you are praying to help, the generational curses that you are trying to break and even the generational wealth that you want to create all are WAITING ON YOU! Your life is waiting on you, you just have to make the decision to make YOU a priority.

It is not going to be easy and life's conditions certainly will never be in your favor but just have enough faith to really believe that, "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ," (Philippians 1:6 NKJV), and let God take care of the rest.

 What dreams have you aborted because you didn't make them a priority? What changes will you make to help you prioritize yourself in the future? What has stopped you from prioritizing yourself and your dreams in the past?

Please post them in the comments, I would love to hear from you!